Ask the Coach
Archive of Coaching Articles — 2002
Published in The Saratogian
It is very easy for us to become pessimistic in our world today. All we have to do is watch the evening news for a few minutes, and it becomes very easy to become depressed. However, despite all the bad news that is featured in the media, it is still possible to be optimistic.
It is indeed a challenge to be able to provide positive messages regarding leadership in today's chaotic and confusing world. We often tend to be very critical of our leaders and it is common to attribute selfish motivations to anyone's leadership aspirations.
Being a spiritual person in today's materialistic world is indeed a challenge. You have been entrusted with a great and wonderful responsibility in teaching youngsters the fundamentals of spiritual practice.
It is quite common for people who are struggling and stressed-out to have a negative attitude. People often mistakenly believe that success precedes a positive attitude. In my experience, the exact opposite is true!
Many people realize less than optimal results during business and other negotiations because they allow themselves to be dominated by fear. In order to optimize your success in any negotiation, you must always be ready and willing to walk away.
Vince Lombardi, the great football coach, once said, "Just because you're doing something wrong, doing it more intensely won't help." When things are going wrong, it is important to back off and reflect on how you might want to do things differently.
Awareness about your attitudes regarding money is the first step in overcoming your billing difficulties with your clients.
Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach University, has come up with the Top Ten Secrets for a Stress-free Business Life. I think you will find these quite useful.
I admire you for having the courage to take on the challenges that working at home involves. As I'm sure you are aware, being a stay-at-home, working mom presents issues that you don't encounter while working at the office. I suspect that your two greatest challenges are minimizing distractions and maintaining a reasonably high level of productivity.
As with any issue, awareness is always the first step. Helping your clients become more aware about their beliefs about money will open up for them new and more life-enhancing attitudes toward their finances.
There are many people who feel alone and isolated in today's culture. Most of my clients desire more high-quality relationships in their lives, but are at a loss as to how to develop them.
When I work with clients, I usually begin by helping them explore and identify things in their lives that are draining their energy. By eliminating people, places and things in your life that are drains, you will begin to feel emotionally and physically liberated.
You are not alone in your struggles. Many of my clients struggle with money issues, and I have seen a direct correlation between my clients' ability to handle money and their ability to make more.
What you really need to do is to determine what really matters in your life. In my experience, it is not the career accomplishments that usually matter most, but rather the quality of our relationship with those we love.
The events of September 11 have changed the way many people look at their lives and their businesses. While it is often difficult to look to the future with optimism in these uncertain times, there are things you can do to help you look toward the future with greater confidence.
From the sound of your letter, it seems that your life was more "balanced" before you took your current position. This suggests that you probably have some of the self-care skills necessary to make your current situation more manageable. While your previous position was obviously less demanding, you still have choices about how you work.
I commend your desire to make your new office more "client-friendly." My first recommendation would be to hire a great receptionist.
Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach University, coined the term "attraction" to describe one's ability to draw people and opportunities to oneself. Attraction has much more to do with internal, rather than external, qualities, and often we can inhibit our natural powers of attraction.
The biggest problem that I encounter with goal-setting is that people are most often too focused on setting external goals such as losing weight, making more money, etc. In my opinion, the key to setting and successfully achieving your goals is shifting your focus from the external to the internal.