Ask the Coach
Archive of Coaching Articles — 2006
Published in The Saratogian
It seems we are constantly being inundated by the media with images of human suffering. We have to look no further than the tragic events that occurred in Pennsylvania two weeks ago (the Amish school shooting) for evidence of this. How do we meaningfully and effectively respond to such suffering and tragedy?
As a father of four, I am constantly challenged as to how to raise our children with solid moral and spiritual values. The best advice I have ever heard regarding child rearing came form the late Dr. Leo Buscaglia. He said, "You be what you want your children to be, then watch them grow!"
In my experience, the underlying cause of most chronic conflict in intimate relationships is that one or both parties aren't feeling sufficiently loved, respected, appreciated, or understood. In his groundbreaking book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey refers to the metaphor of the "Emotional Bank Account" to describe the amount of trust that has been built up in a relationship.
I am frequently asked what approach I use with my coaching clients to help them achieve the success and change they desire. My method, which I refer to as "The Smarter Approach" to success, involves seven basic steps, which on the surface appear to be fairly "simple," but are often not "easy."
We all have experienced the power that words have to wound, to comfort, to inspire. Words, like everything in the universe, carry a unique energy all their own. Yet it is often only after words are spoken that we recognize their tremendous power.
In my last column, I wrote about how the power of success can affect our success or failure in our daily endeavors. In today's column, I'd like to discuss how our approach to how we deal with people and situations that can affect how well we cope with life and the inevitable stressors involved.
Most of us struggle to find a way to live authentic and balanced lives in our crazy, fast paced world. The poet e.e. cummings once said, "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight; and never stop fighting!"
Most of us long for deeper connections, but are at a loss as to how to go about developing them. In my experience, there is no greater need than that for human connection. However, while technology has made it increasingly easier for us to communicate through a dazzling array of electronic media, most of us feel more disconnected from each other than ever before.
With the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King recently past, my thoughts have recently been focused on peacemaking. The struggle to find peace is as old and enduring as humanity itself.
At this time of year, our thoughts often turn to taking stock of our lives and contemplating what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. George Orwell said it best when he remarked, "Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness."